Hi! Do you remember blogs? Well, this used to be one. Now it just serves as an archive for my multiple Twitter accounts.

1 May 2004

Pédéblogueurs 2004.05

May 2004 is brought to you by Des Noeuds dans l’Ether.

I learnt something important with this photo session: compositing photographs is simple alright, but my flashes aren’t reliable enough to get a perfect result. Most pictures are exposed the same way, as expected, but a few ones (when one of the flashes wasn’t 100% charged, I suppose) are a bit darker. Nothing dramatic, but it’s not quite convenient.


Top, a Google search page. Pretty. Bottom, the same page, saved by Mozilla and uploaded as is on my website. Ugly.

Since there is no “View source” on a WAP browser, there’s no way to know what Google sends exactly to my phone. Unless I install a WAP gateway emulator and a WAP phone emulator on my PC, but that sounds a bit too complicated (and too heavy to download, too).

Bloggo is now available in WAP 1.1. It works alright, except for the html2wml module that’s less efficient than Google’s (but displays the images, which can be important for some blogs)1, so I’ll be able to read blogs on my cellphone.

I have also managed to make my wapmail with just a tiny chunk of PHP. I can now read all my mail directly on my phone (from now on, wap[…] is redirected to cedric[…]).

It’s not that useful, but it’s pleasant to have a small, clean, functional administration interface.

Now I should dig into WAP push in order to be notified when I have new mail or comments. First I have to check that it wouldn’t incur an extra charge, though.

1: Bloggo doesn’t convert anything, my phone directly displays HTML. (Not very well, of course, but at least it tries.) I don’t know whether the WAP gateway does some WML translating or my phone really, natively interprets HTML. I don’t know either why it works on some pages and not others (not to mention those that are too big for my phone’s memory). Those technologies are so confusing.

2 May

That’s the kind of stuff you’re supposed to do with a moblog, isn’t it?

Only after I spent two days working on my rudimentary wapmail (which crashes on half the messages) do I find out that wap.yahoo.fr does everything the same, only better. But I don’t want to use a Yahoo address.

The night bus, in itself, isn’t a problem… except when you’re falling asleep. Then it’s really a pain.

Especially considering I must wake up early tomorrow if I want to get some food, because today everything was closed.

I’m sure that Météo France is willingly predicting crappy weather when it’s sunny, just to prevent me from going out, and ruin my day. Well, tough luck for you, Mister, I’m going out anyway!

I don’t know how they did it, but my cell’s T9 dictionary has accents problems. (This only applies to the photo moblog; right now I’m in a WAP form, and the browser doesn’t have T9 at all.)

Incidentally, I’ll have to be careful, or I’ll soon have spent my monthly 50 free MMSs.

Oh. J’ai oublie de manger avant de sortir. C’est ballot.

3 May

Même MacDo que la dernière fois, mais pas seul cette fois.

Si une fille, seule à côté de la Samaritaine à minuit trois heures du matin (je viens de me rappeler, tout était fermé dans le Marais, alors je ne savais pas trop quoi lui conseiller), me demande si je connais “a gay and lesbian bar” dans le coin, est-ce que ça veut dire que j’ai l’air d’une tapette ?

4 May


I know it’s a Firefox problem: when this blog goes wrong (either it does this — and I can reload the page, it happens again, at some point or another of the text — or it just plain refuses to find the page) I can open it in Explorer. But I’d just like to know what’s happening.

I remember the last time that, as I was reading someone’s Internet writings, I had thought “I hope he’s ugly, because otherwise he could be just my type”. It was announcing a dark period of my life — and of this blog. (Yes, I’m exaggerating, of course I am, I’m trying to make it interesting here, and these days that’s something this blog is particularly not, so if I don’t push it a bit we’re doomed.)

Hopefully, if I’m telling this to myself again tonight, it’s probably just because I’m tired, in need of affection, and ready to fall in love with anyone. (If only I wasn’t incapable of that. It would be such a welcome break.)

Rather than working, I wanted to get a Panther makeover tonight. (With square corners because I can’t get used to rounded, and with right-handed buttons because when a program is incompatible with Windowblinds its buttons end up on the right, which is confusing if you got used to having them on the other side.) Not quite thrilled by the result, but I was tired of the big stripes.

When I have time, will and creativity, I’ll make a personal mix of Milk (for the whiteish look), Panther (for the shiny buttons) and Jaguar (for the titlebar traffic lights, as I never liked Panther’s). But Windowblinds’ skin format is so badly designed I’m depressed just having to open one of those files.

5 May

I had a look at the code (the advantage of webmastering many different blogs is getting a hand at many different CMSs) before I posted a comment there and, yes, it’s just as I thought: if I’m not mistaken (I didn’t go through every included file), WordPress and DotClear do send a SQL query every time an aggregator requests the RSS. Which means, once or twice per hour and per regular reader. It kills me.

Yeah, but it’s open source, so it has to be better than Movable Type, it’s just statutory.” Right. But wrong. When I install Movable Type I don’t have to think about how I’ll hack the administration pages to make them generate static pages when content has changed.

Meanwhile, I’m sweating blood over reprogramming Gayattitude to spare the SQL server and make as much of it into static pages as I can (even if that means losing those visitors who can’t use cookies). One of these days I’m just gonna migrate all the blogs on this server to Movable Type.

P.S. Before people call me a freerider and tell me I should just shut up and either contribute or not use it: I’m not criticizing the fact that a free, open source piece of software, which I use, is incomplete. I’m criticizaing, as a (genial, of course) programmer, the fact that (non-genial, obviously) colleagues could upload blog systems that, each time a reader access the RSS URL, trigger a host of includes and a big SQL query, even though its contents only change a few times a day at most, when the blogger posts (I’ll be more lenient about the home page, as it changes much more frequently if comments are activated, and it can also need to contain PHP for other uses). It kills me, not as a software user, but as an engineer.

Où va le monde quand les préparateurs des colis de Télémarket coincent mon pain de mie entre les bouteilles de Fanta de mon frère pour qu’il arrive bien écrasé ?

RSS with a Garoo twist. And a “RSS valid” button to fit!

www.garoo.net — version 1865.0

The return of grey and pink. The return of my face, too. For a while I’d been meaning to try and put a pseudo-vectorized picture as a header (actually, since I read a bunch of old Computer Arts that are full of vector images); now it’s done, the result isn’t so great, and I’ll change it again soon. But, at least, it’s grey and pink, it’s garoo, so all I’ll have to do is change the top image when I’m tired of it. (Which means, soon. Like, maybe even tonight.)

Oh, yeah, I suppose it’s the opportunity to mention the reappearance of RSS on my site. But with a Garoo twist. Subscribe and you’ll see. For a while, too, I’d been thinking of putting RSS back (because I have to confess it’s quite convenient to be notified when there’s new contents on a blog, even though I personally still can’t find an aggregator I really like — I’m trying the RSSNews Miranda plugin again since yesterday) without putting contents in it (as I already explained here in length). I know RSS fanatics will scream (funny that they tend to be the same people as valid HTML fanatics), but hey, it’s that or nothing, since I already explained there’s no way I’ll let you read my text away from my site. Besides, my RSS is valid, which is already a lot. Only the minilog text entries will be copied to the RSS, because they don’t require elaborate formatting and they’re usually just links (unless, of course, you have subscribed to a plain-text feed, which won’t include the link).

As for notifying comments in the posts, I don’t know yet if that’ll stay — I guess it depends on the number of complaints. Right now, I’m bored, I don’t post much, so I feel like letting the site live its own life and I tend to emphasize a bit on comments. It’ll pass. If your aggregator is good-mannered, it should make a difference between new posts and updated posts (i.e., newly commented ones), so it shouldn’t be so much of a nuisance. If it is, let me know.

P.S. Well, in the end, I’m getting used to the image. While I’m here, if you see this text as being in black over white, I’ll have you know that the background is actually light grey, and the dates and permalinks are in white. If you don’t see them, then your screen isn’t properly calibrated, or… you have an LCD monitor. I’ll have to investigate that a bit, to see if configuring the screen better can solve it, or if this layout if just plain incompatible with LCD screens.

In which case it would be their loss, since I’m still using CRTs so, basically, I don’t really care.

Est-ce que j’ai arrêté de regarder Les colocataires parce que ça m’ennuie et que la formule est usée jusqu’à la corde, ou uniquement parce que ça m’énervait de voir des tapettes faire semblant d’être hétéros ?

6 May


RSS 2.0 feeds are removed (well, not, but they won’t be updated anymore). The index-*.xml will soon be replaced by Atom feeds — makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Décidément, ils font des choses bizarres avec les marques, en ce moment.

A pragmatism hardly imaginable in the western world, right when some regret that a 25-member Europe favors English language.

The RSS aggregator in Opera 7.50 (beta) is rather nice and pretty simple to use (too bad there are a few bugs and, more importantly, it doesn’t have categories); the browser around it is sweet. Besides, Opera now uses Google’s Adwords, which occupy less state real estate than previously. I’m not going to switch, but it’s good.


Oh, and I’m testing again Thunderbird, too. Last time was 0.4, now it’s 0.6 and seems less bloated. We’ll see. I’d love to give up Eudora. Maybe I should also look into Opera’s mail client, I never really tried it out.


P.S. Ok, forget about Thunderbird. (Again.) Not even considering the fact that it doesn’t seem to check my mail every 10 minutes as I asked it to, I just don’t understand how people can handle a pane-based mail client, à la Outlook. When I get mail, Eudora opens the windows of all folders where there’s new mail; Thunderbird (or Outlook, or Opera, etc.) only displays folder names in bold — and it looks like it doesn’t emphasize the relevant accounts, which is particularly annoying as I have a dozen accounts and I can’t leave them all open or it’s unreadable.

In short, these things are just plain unusable. I only regularly check three accounts, and I only have half a dozen filters, but I still need a multi-window client. Too bad.

As for Opera, it doesn’t seem to update RSS feeds at all. I guess it’ll be solved by the time a stable 7.5 is released, but in the meantime…

7 May

Days are less depressing when I have a Pepsi Max bottle close to me.

But they’re longer.

Win some, lose some.

If I replace Pepsi Max with vodka, I guess days will be shorter and foggy.

But it won’t be good for my diet.

Surprise: my phone handles WAP 2.0 and declares accepting text/html — basically, I should have access to everything.

Is my telco’s WAP gateway limited, or is it thinking my phone is dumber than it actually is?

I haven’t managed to make a picture showing really how much room there are in those pants. And I bought them in… January, I think. Before I even put back on some weight around March.

Ca alors ! Il y a des magasins du Surcouf District dans lesquels on n’a pas a attendre trois heures pour avoir le privilege de depenser un peu de son argent !

Ca me rappelle Evamag (la regrettée seule bonne sitcom produite par Canal+), avec les rédactrices qui faisaient chaque mois un sujet de société au sujet de leurs dernières aventures.

D’ailleurs, est-ce qu’il ne manque pas une Carrie Bradshaw, dans Têtu ? (Non, je ne me propose pas, je ne pense pas que je serais très bon pour ça. Hmm. Quoique.)

Pfff, c’était en avril, ne te découvre pas d’un fil !

There it is, I received my Powerbook today!

With my Pumas, I bought a Clié UX-50.

Die, all of you!

8 May

Second Life is visually pleasant now (and cheap?!). But I won’t drown into a virtual world again.

I just read an article praising Opera’s mail client, so I thought I’d try to import my (many, many) archived messages from Eudora and see how it works (even though Opera 7.5 is a beta version, which I’m not going to trust with my everyday mail management). And it isn’t starting well.

I’ve been using Eudora for a while. My hardware setup has changed a lot over that time, particularly when it comes to hard drives. In short, many attachments have been saved on D:, which is now a CDROM; for each message dating back from then, Opera sends a “There is no disk in the drive. Insert a disc in drive D:. Cancel / Retry / Continue.” Each message. Thousands of messages. Well, okay, it’s a system error message, so it’s as much Windows’ fault as Opera’s. But still. What are the chances I’d still have on my hard disk attached files from several years ago?

All I have to do now is put a random CD in the drive.

P.S. Am I dreaming or Google’s revolutionary mail concept, that puts everything in a big bag and allows you to search through it, is just copied from Opera?

I think I like it. Might try and use it.

P.S. Would be better if it had really imported all my messages. It looks like it got mail from an old Eudora (I don’t know where it found it). Considering it doesn’t ask where to get the mailboxes, I don’t know how to solve this. But I can’t start using a mail client without my 2003-2004 archives.

P.S. All messages have been imported alright, they’re saved in the store directory, but Opera doesn’t display them (and, yes, I did check all the right view options). I guess I’ll have to wait for the stable release. Can’t wait to try and use this mail client, it seems to be made for me.

In the meantime I could use GMail, since it works the same way, but I just don’t want to trust an external server with my personal mail.

P.S. Didn’t want to wait, so I installed Opera 7.23. And I’ve got exactly the same problem: it imports 32,000 messages but only displays 8,000 of them in Received. Annoying.

9 May


1995, damnit.

Nine years.

Young and careless I was.

The future ahead of me.


— And what do you do for a living?

— I’m a gogo-dancer for lasers.

You can’t imagine how I really spent my teenage years wondering why nobody manufactured this, why nobody used this (because I know these ones aren’t the first instances of this).

10 May

En suivant d’une oreille Il est plus facile pour un chameau à la télé (déjà vu en cours de semaine, premier film français typique, pas grand chose à sauver à part Chiara Mastroianni, superbe en blonde), deux observations : je me demande ce qui est plus insupportable, une gamine qui piaille en français, ou une gamine qui piaille dans une langue étrangère ; j’ai la nette impression que la mère ne roule pas du tout les r, et je me demande si j’ai complexé pour rien pendant des années à mon incapacité totale à le faire (ce qui me gênait particulièrement parce qu’à part ça j’ai toujours été plutôt bon en accents étrangers, alors ça cassait tout) ou si c’est juste parce que l’actrice a tellement vécu en France qu’elle a perdu l’habitude (ce serait étonnant, mais dans un film où le frère — italien aussi, donc — est joué par Lambert Wilson, on peut s’attendre à tout, même si la réalisatrice elle-même est d’origine italienne).

Existe-t-il donc des accents italiens dans lequels on ne roule pas les r ? Ca m’arrangerait, parce que depuis toujours quand je parle italien (ce qui est plus que rare depuis que j’ai eu mon bac) mes r ressemblent plus à ceux d’un japonais qu’un italien. Mais je culpabilise tellement à l’idée de ne pas essayer du tout de les rouler, et d’avoir l’air d’un franchouillard qui ne sait pas parler les langues étrangères correctement…

Blogger Revolution: comments seem to be Bloggerians-only. Very TypeKeyish, except that here it’s not as an option. Oops, it is an option, only the default value is an odd choice.

And there was a time when Americans sang “We are the world”.

Well, they still mean it. But not in the same way.

11 May

Entendu à la radio : « Le PS déposera à l’automne une proposition de loi en faveur du mariage civil, indépendamment du sexe des contractants. »

Ben tiens, c’est facile quand on n’est pas au pouvoir et que ça n’a pas la moindre chance de passer. (Même si ça fait toujours plaisir que cette citation soit attribuée au mari de Ségolène Royal.)

Putain d’abrutis de prépateurs de colis de merde !

12 May

Erf… C’est le moment de monter un site de vidéos gay originales. Le casting commence demain.

PSP. I’m not usually interested in consoles, but… yum.

En entendant ma canette faire pschitt (ahem), je me suis demandé : pourquoi on ne fait pas de l’ice tea avec des bulles ?

13 May

Opera 7.5 is out and still loses a two years of my email archives. Too bad.

Ca y est, j’ai atteint le stade ou je peux enlever mon jean sans le deboutonner et sans forcer – encore une semaine ou deux et il ne devrait plus tenir du tout. Alors, bien sur, ca fait plaisir, et il y a maintenant une raison de plus pour que ce soit mon jean prefere (il est gentil, il me flatte). Mais, maintenant, qu’est-ce que je vais porter ? Je ne peux pas me precipiter dans un magasin de pedefringues, j’ai.bien l’intention de perdre encore autant que ce que j’ai deja perdu en deux mois (et de conclure par une liposuccion, pour me debarrasser des quelques grammes de graisse abdominale qu’il est traditionnellement impossible d’eliminer par des voies naturelles, j’ai interet a economiser). Et je ne peux pas mettre de ceinture, ca fait sac a patates (et c’est pas pratique a enlever, ca fait perdre du temps, c’est dommage). Heureusement qu’il devrait bientot finir par faire beau, je vais pouvoir sortir en calecon. Hum. Faut que je fasse des UV, avant de montrer mes jambes.

14 May

Just as I feared, my WAP administration form crashes when I type too long an article on my phone. And I had to have confirmation of it just after I spent fifteen minutes typing a long post, didn’t I? Uh… yeah, I guess that’s the way it makes sense.

Anyway, what I wanted to say, what couldn’t wait until I came back home, was that… oh well, nah, I don’t feel like it anymore. Some other time.

P.S. Oops, the post did get saved each time I submitted the form on my phone, despite the error message. But it crashed before compiling the home page, so I didn’t notice when I came home. Plus it was late, I was tired.

Oh… not only does wap.yahoo.fr allow you to read your email, but you can also access Yahoo Messenger. It’s not extremely functional, it doesn’t manage accents properly (at least not when communicating with a Java Messenger — I did download the Windows client, but it crashed when it met my firewall, and I can’t run it again before I reboot, because it’s stayed in the memory and even the task manager doesn’t manage to kill it), but it can be quite useful, so I guess it’s time to migrate. Too bad the Miranda plugin doesn’t seem to work.

Can’t go on like this, I have to find a husband, here and now, even if it isn’t grand love and it only lasts two weeks, but it’s an emergency before my brain (yes, my brain! yes, the top one!) explodes. So I’m taking matters at hand (hey, enough with that!) and I’ll marry the first person who posts a comment (offer only available for male, homosexual residents of Paris and its suburbs).

Of course, you don’t really have to trust me on that one, because I could easily cheat.

Moi, je dis, c’est pas en écoutant Muse à fond dans mon casque à six heures du matin (pour contrebalancer la playlist radio.blog cafardeuse de quelqu’un que je ne linkerai pas ici parce qu’on m’accuse déjà de trop commenter chez lui, alors je ne vais pas en rajouter) que je vais réussir à trouver le sommeil.

P.S. Descendre une demi-bouteille de Pepsi Max en rentrant parce que je crevais de soif, c’était moyen aussi, comme idée.

The great storm of’04. The nice thing is, every MT user uses MT (duh), and sends trackbacks.

Est-ce que je me suis acheté des chaussettes de merde (c’est tout à fait envisageable, c’est le principe quand on achète au rabais), ou est-ce que c’est normal qu’elles perdent la moitié de leur épaisseur à chaque lessive et remplissent le filtre du sèche-linge ?

Je vais peut-être devoir remettre plusieurs fois mes chaussettes sans les laver, si je veux les garder un peu longtemps.

Fuck! You! Needs repeating every now and then.

Les autocollants de propagande dans les bus sont toujours niais. Enfin, il y a eu bien pire que cette série-là.

Damn, I need a PS2. The Flash interface is nice, by the way.

For the new Blogger, they didn’t think of making of a WAP interface? Weird oversight.

15 May

Five years from now, tribal will be definitely out, but this will be plain laughable.

DotClear est disponible en version 1.2 alpha ou 1.0 ; les plugins pour la version 1.0 semblent avoir complètement disparu du site, et les plugins d’importation d’archives depuis d’autres blogs vers la version 1.2 n’ont pas encore l’air d’exister.

And yet when we criticized TypeKey everybody was standing behind Six Apart.

Ack! Jonathan Taylor Thomas is in Smallville again. I can’t go out tonight.

16 May

Réveillé par le téléphone alors que l’épidémie de peste-malaria faisait exploser les corps les un après les autres (et c’est sanglant, un ventre qui gonfle puis explose à cause de la peste-malaria, pire que dans Alien) et que les deux derniers survivants d’un camp d’internement militaire venaient d’être contaminés volontairement et envoyés faire des tours dans un avion pour qu’on découvre enfin pourquoi les gens ne mouraient jamais de peste-malaria pendant les voyages aériens.

Du coup, au lieu d’oublier tout ça comme je l’aurais fait en me réveillant naturellement, je vais l’avoir en tête un moment et démarrer la journée dessus. Surtout, je me retrouve à me demander si je fais souvent des rêves comme celui-là et si d’habitude je les oublie. Déjà que, l’autre jour, je consolais un tout jeune infirmier (mais il était mignon, au moins, même s’il me semble qu’il était une femme quelques minutes plus tôt) de ne pas avoir pu sauver qui que ce soit après ce catastrophique éboulement meurtrier.

Je ne sais pas ce qui se passe dans ma tête en ce moment, mais j’aimerais autant ne pas être dedans quand ça va péter pour de bon.

17 May

Woke up at 4pm. Or 5pm, I don’t remember. I’ll have to get to it seriously and set my alarm clock around 2pm, because this is really too late for any purpose. I’m already quite demotivated enough these days, I don’t need a bad sleeping rhythm on top of it.

18 May

J’aime bien le mobilier urbain, aussi.

Mais ça sort moins bien, au téléphone. Il serait temps que je me remette à faire des safaris-photo dans Paris, de temps en temps, avec mon vrai appareil photo, pour profiter du beau temps.


Nothing ever stays the same.

URLTitles MT plugin. You must install this if you’re using MT.

There it is, time to start whining: It’s too hoooot. Well, in my bedroom it is. Outside, it’s just about ideal, as it was yesterday.

In other news, when I wear a tight T-shirt, I have a little dent at waist level. And last night I managed to make flattering photos of my torso, for the first time since… ever.

Wanna see?

Yeah, right. When my abs really, really show, then we’ll see about that.

19 May

Oh, actually, I was wrong: it’s too hot outside, too. Good thing I don’t usually go out on day time.

20 May

I dream of driving a bus someday. For years (off the top of my head, I’d say fifteen years) I’ve been watching drivers drive, learning how it works. Those things are as big as houses but drive like cars, I want to try one!

Comprends pas. Les pubs de cette série ne donnent systématiquement que le prix du haut. Et le bas assorti, qu’on est obligé(e) d’acheter pour aller avec ? Il coûte dix fois plus ?

Pourtant, c’est H&M, ça ne devrait pas être cher, c’est pas le genre de la maison.

Yeah, I know, you can’t see anything.

Some day (well, some night, actually), I’ll have to get on my street with my real camera, the one with a real zoom that can make real night pictures, and take care of all those cats (nine tonight between the night bus stop and my home) once and for all.

This is a Return Receipt for the mail that you sent to xxxx.

Note: This Return Receipt only acknowledges that the message was displayed on the recipient’s computer. There is no guarantee that the recipient has read or understood the message contents.

Oh. Even mail delivery systems (which usually send out highly technical and complicated messages) start expressing themselves like lawyers.

But if they specify this, maybe that means it’s a functionality they’re working on, and pretty soon you’ll be informed immediately when someone you wrote to hasn’t properly understood your message. That will be helpful. It will drown our mailboxes with warning notices, but it’ll sure be helpful. Or maybe it should just be an elementary auto-reply system embedded only in Outlook.


Je me laisse porter, je regarde ma vie passer comme si c’était un film.

Ca doit être un Rohmer.

Mais vaut peut-être mieux ça qu’un mauvais film d’action américain.


Fataliste (bis).

Je me laisse porter, je regarde ma vie passer comme une vache regarde un train.

Une grosse vache particulièrement apathique.

Et un vieux train.

Une antique micheline rouge et blanche toute rouillée.

Avec le moteur en panne, tractée par une dépanneuse à trains.

Au moins, il y a peu de chances que le train déraille et m’arrive en plein dans la gueule, pendant que je broute.

(Non, c’est pas sexuel.)

21 May

Is every body gone for the week-end now?

Oh, but it’s just as well, with the heat, I wanted to get naked, so I can now, since nobody’s there to watch. Shy as I am, I’m glad there isn’t anybody left.

P.S. Well, I won’t let people say I’m a tease, because I hate teases.

Oh, and also because, the more my diet works, the less I can resist the urge to show myself. As soon as my abs really show, you’ll be flooded with pics (especially now that I blacklisted some IPs).

It’ll be like him — oh yeah, just, exactly like him. Right.

P.S. By the way (yes, it’s related), I can invite two people on Gmail, so… make an offer!

Mais pourquoi les blogueurs devraient forcément se saouler à la bière ? C’est la saison pour faire des pique-niques dans les jardins publics !

22 May

While we’re at it

I want to see your heads. So send me a picture of you naked (or not) and I’ll send you a picture of my cock (or not).
PS: I’ll sleep with the nicest (or… no, nevermind.)
PPS: None of this will be published.

I feel like stealing the idea, but I’m not completely decided yet. With luck, I’ll forget about the idea before I reach the point of no return.

But you can start in advance, even though I haven’t committed to anything yet.

Mais ? J’ai grossi ? J’ai regrossi cette semaine ? Je ne peux pas avoir regrossi !

Ah, non. C’est vrai. Je n’avais pas encore remis ce jean depuis ma derniere lessive. C’est normal qu’il me descende moins bas sur les hanches.

23 May

Not bad, but not great either. And the package is far too big — even if it weren’t for my diet, I’m not sure I could finish it in one pass.

Non, sérieusement, c’est difficile à croire aujourd’hui, mais à une époque E=M6 était une très bonne émission.

24 May

www.garoo.net — version 1866.0

Because I spend too much time writing this blog, and reading blogs.

Because what I write is usually crap.

Because 99% of the 800 to 1,000 daily readers of this site (I don’t even understand why my stats keep rising, whatever I do or don’t do) don’t deserve the little time I dedicate to this blog.

Because the remaining 1% deserves better than what I end up writing on this blog.

Because I said everything I had to say, and if I start going through worthy stuff in my life I can always rethink my home page, but there’s no hurry.

Because I’ve seen I was able to write, and I wrote everything I had to write, because everything interesting I may say will always have already been said by someone else, so I might as well just link them and spend more time on images.

All of it just because of a short but intensely irritating conversation with one of those people who think they know your life better than you do, making me realize that this stupid blog thing attracts those guys who think they can judge my life.

When it happened, I had a strong urge to delete the blog altogether and only leave the portfolio but, as you can see, I cooled down a bit, and I even kept the possibility of typing long articles when I have interesting stuff to say.

And since it doesn’t happen often, I’ll write less.

Next step, after a good night of sleep, is to do some spring cleaning in my bookmarks and stop reading all those blogs I’m not interested in, and that I read and linked only to see if I’d have stuff to comment on my blog. I think I can very well live not knowing what happens to most of you, and I can only benefit from using my spare time (or more accurately my boredom time) to something else than reading poorly written blogs that are even less interesting than mine (and that’s a bit of misanthropy saved from what this post was originally scheduled to be).

So this minilog will mostly focus on web, news and technology.

The secret of my success: the high-protein supplies closet.

There must be some poltergeist kicking my butt while I sleep. I’m covered with bruises.

25 May

I have a doubt: you did notice I’m not closing garoo.net down, didn’t you?

J’oubliais : qui a choisi cette photo terrible (mais sûrement pas cher) pour illustrer cette campagne ?

D’un côté, la photo (tirée d’un vieux film qui est, je crois, vaguement connu par certaines générations) illustre parfaitement le côté niais et démodé (les années 2000 seront cyniques ou ne seront pas) de l’initiative ; de l’autre, c’est difficile de porter un regard objectif et neutre sur le texte quand on a cette image au-dessus. Surtout avec Christian Clavier qui fait un grand sourire. La fraternité ? Euh, non, merci.

Well, foodlog close-ups don’t work well with the cameraphone.

Speed of the Serpent: excellent idea. Those are some smart game designers.

Il m’a fallu de nombreuses diffusions pour comprendre cette pub.

Je ne sais pas si c’est une bonne ou une mauvaise chose.

C’est ça, « de vraies rondeurs » ?

26 May

— Tain, une heure pour se taper la fille, trois heures pour lui amputer le bras, c’est chiant Arte

— il va se faire anputer?

— Ben c’est visiblement parti pour

— a cause d’elle !!!!

— Comme ce truc est pas prévisible du tout
C’est sa punition divine

— avec moi, il aurait été sur le ventre

— C’est sûr qu’après s’être fait l’ogre il peut pas tomber plus bas :P

— :)

— Mais il est trop maigre, c’est pas joli en vieillissant

— il a le tmeps de grossir

— Je pourrai citer des morceaux de la conversatoin dans mon nonblog ? :)

— euh
avec mon nom ?

— Pas spécialement

— tu veux citer quoi ??? :p)

— C’est oui ou non :)

— tant que ce n’est pas dégradant pour moi, oui

— Ok :)

— ca y est  ?

— Non non à la fin
Ca sera mon nouveau style de blog, je posterai des dialogues :)

— j’ose plus parler maintenant

— J’ai réalisé que mon blog ne m’avait jamais rien apporté, alors qu’IRC si, c’est bizarre quand même, alors je me recentre sur le chat
Fais pas attention au micro :)

— lol
des milliers de personnes te connaissent
tu es celebrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre

— Ouais, grave :)
Et pourquoi j’ai jamais été site du moi dans Têtu, moi ?

— Putain, mais je croyais que c’était un film sur les soldats, moi, pas sur le droit du travail
Heureusement qu’ils montrent des bites, sur Arte, pour attirer les téléspectateurs

— je comprends rien a ce truc

— C’est normal

— J’arrive pas à décider s’il est mignon ou pas

— Bon, ben ils l’ont pas amputé, ça coûtait trop cher en effets spéciaux

I feel like reselling my phone and buying a Digital Ixus or a small Minolta.

27 May

Yeah, right.

Gush 1.1b2. Nice. Testing again.

Flash 7. I didn’t know. And seeing how hard it is to find out what’s new, I guess they’re not really trying to sell it.

Gush 1.1b2, verdict: better and better, but still not usable.

Pourquoi sa tête me dit furieusement quelque chose, alors que ça n’a même pas l’air d’être une pub française ?

(Peut-être parce que je prends mes désirs pour des réalités. Oui, peut-être.)

Screwed !

There we are, it’s official. It had been lingering for three or four months, we were pretty sure it would happen, but we were waiting for confirmation. And there it is. My mother has obtained a transfer to Avranches.

Oh, it sure seems very nice and quiet over there, and it’ll certainly be good for her: quiet, fresh ocean air, a large and new apartment, but… this is my blog, not hers, and this post isn’t about celebrating but complaining.

For a while, I’ve been trying to convince myself that exile could be good for me. Not tempted to go out anymore, I’d have more time for my, uh, artistic, uh, career, I mean, make websites, write novels, shoot DV movies on the beach… Mwaha. And, away from Paris, you have a smaller sample of boys, so you’re less picky and you get married more easily, don’t you? Isn’t that what everybody says when criticizing the gay ghettos? Mwaha-ha. Gotta be realistic: the only positive aspect is having a new room, starting fresh without the mess I accumulated here over the years. But there are rooms in Paris, too, and they have the advantage of being closer to… Paris. Besides, I really don’t feel at all like going through the moving process with my parents (especially considering the… current… atmosphere).

Which brings us to the core question: staying in Paris or dying. Uh… no, that’s not what I meant, but… uh, actually, it probably is.

Option 1: find a job, and a flat. In two months. Even if I did find a job (which is just about totally impossible for me anyway), even if the pay was good, I’d have practically zero chance of getting a real estate owner to trust me. What, you have only one payroll? Ha! Ha!

Option 2: find some roommates (and either find a job, or work more as a freelancer, which might be achievable). I guess it’s not completely impossible, but there are still two big problems: first, shared accomodation in Paris isn’t that much cheaper; second, where would I find one or several human beings that I could stand living with for more than two days?

Option 3: state-sponsored, cheap rents. It’s a pity that I only found out two weeks ago that people willing to move away from their parents’ home were considered a priority for those. But now, even if I’m a priority, I hardly have any chance of being granted a flat in two months. And if I have to move to Avranches, then come back… since it’s the moving part that annoys me most, it’s a bit silly.

Option 4: buying a camping-car and squatting near a wi-fi hotspot. I don’t know if sleeping in a car in the midle of a city is legal, and I can imagine there would be many reasons it wouldn’t. Besides, charging the batteries, emptying the toilets… it must all be complicated.

Option 5: sleeping under the bridges. But after three days I’ll be too dirty to get cute boys anymore, so there won’t be any point in staying in Paris.

If you see an alternative I forgot, don’t hesitate to let me know. It could help, because I’m a bit lost now.

In the meantime, depression, here I come!

28 May

Been told I’m too thin now. Have to start pushups.

Mais…? Les élections, c’était y’a deux mois !

LifeSwitch. I want to have video on my website too.

The PDA legal wars. So that’s why it’s not called a PalmPilot anymore!

Le jour se lève encore.” Et c’est chiant.

Drowning your depression in… boredom.

29 May

C’est idiot. Je me souviens avoir réfléchi plusieurs fois à comment fonctionne un dévidoir de papier toilette de bar, je ne me souviens pas avoir envisagé qu’il y ait un système de roulement à l’intérieur.

Ca pique les yeux, dehors, mais je ne crois pas avoir vraiment sommeil. Les bienfaits de la sieste, à ce qu’il paraît. J’ai dormi une demi-heure.

Est-ce que je vais m’acheter du Pepsi Max, ou je compte sur ma réserve d’ice tea pour tenir le week-end ?

Kinder Happy Time. C’est quoi, ce truc ? Ca, par contre, ça fait envie. (Rechargez la page s’il y a un message d’erreur.)

30 May

Il n’y a pas si longtemps, quand une chaîne diffusait un téléfilm gay médiocre, on se devait de célébrer l’événement.

You can now post comments about portfolio updates from the home page.

Crap. (Yeah, I know thongs are everything but sexy. But it’s just for inside.)

Hervé Vilard gagne 120 000 à 200 000 F par mois (sans rien faire). Il faut vraiment que je me fasse entretenir. Je ne coûte pas cher, moi !

31 May

Removed the overflow: hidden because of an annoying bug in Mozilla.

Taking into account a:visited, exceptionally, because it’s useful for a minilog. (“When in doubt, shift-reload.”)

It’s a bit depressing to still have the Gay Pride 2003 photographs in the home page updates. That was a bug.

Si vous voulez qu’il y ait un juin 2004, ainsi que tous les mois suivants, il va falloir que quelqu’un se dévoue, et vite.

Ah ben voilà, il faut peut-être que je passe chez Delarue pour trouver l’amour.

I’m fucking tired of that.


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