It’s amazing anyone could make a movie so dumb from a plot so… not too dumb. Well, one that could have birthed a very good script if they had written one. But, hey, you can’t expect too much from a director who’ll give the vampire warrior’s part to Kate Beckinsale (I like her, but she’s not the character — she’s not any imaginable vampire character) and the bad guy’s to Bill Nighy, the old junkie singer in Love Actually, who obviously can’t play anything else. And people laughed at Stephen “Yummy” Dorff in Blade.

I can’t believe they’re shooting a sequel. Same team and all (can you believe the writer is a former stuntman?), they can’t seriously be hoping that anyone would pay to see it, can they?