Garoo

Hated the premise as soon as it was announced (Donnie Darko’s sister Samantha — the one who isn’t a Gyllenhaal, nor remembered — is the one experiencing weird stuff now, because thunder always strikes twice in Hollywood); the movie is worse. It takes talent to weave a movie such as Donnie Darko, and the “sequel,” essentially written and directed by nobodies because some producer had the rights to the Darko name, is just as insulting to the memory of its predecessor as you could imagine. (Although you can definitely see that the director did a bunch of Cold Case episodes. But Cold Case’s slow-mo tracking shots work because the show has a script and a point.)

And it has Chuck Bass. American accent included, but with his eyes mostly open. He could possibly be an okay actor. Or not. He might even be cute. Can’t decide. I hoped his character on the next season of Californication wouldn’t be American, so we’d get a chance to find out what he’s really like, but apparently his career is based on playing Yankee.

Oh, and then there’s Elizabeth Berkley, making her scenes awesome just by the fact that it’s her, playing a Jesus freak. (I can’t remember whether I like her, or I just got peer-pressured into it by a couple of gay bloggers.) But she’s just passing by.